Alright, we’ve all been there, we’ve all been on the throwing and receiving end of some really great excuses. The classic, “let me get back to you,” or “sure, maybe”, and then when those fail, the really good excuses come out. It happens, and now for the next time it does, here for you today is a hot and ready guide to not only the most common excuses ever told, but the perfect reasoning that contradicts these tired answers to fun questions.
Not Enough Money
Cash is king, and for many people it’s a key excuse not to get outdoors. But adventures don’t have to be expensive, on the contrary, a single night camping can be as cost effective as a night home watching Netflix and ordering a pizza. Food, you have to eat, and buying groceries for an adventure can be as expensive as buying granola bars or a couple cans of soup. And if you pick a destination that won’t drain your gas tank, money shouldn’t be an issue.
Not Really a Fan of Eating Bugs and Worms
Just because you are going on a bit of an adventure doesn’t mean you have to go all Survivor Man on your journey. Skip the puss filled grubs and cow paddies, and instead pack the whole kitchen including the sink. If your friends are fan of gourmet dining, impress them with your backcountry skills and whip up something special. And the best part for a budding backcountry chef, most anything taste good after a day full of adventure and exercise.
Not Enough Time
Probably the most valuable resource for any modern man or women is time, and that’s why it’s a likely excuse to not go on a new adventure. But if someone throws this card down on the table to bail out on some outdoors time, be sure to rebut with the “work smart, not hard” mentality for finding some much needed fresh air. Adventures don’t have to be epic, and if someone is pressed for time, suggest a short hike, bike ride, or anything that will get you 20 minutes of exercise, anything that will effectively rejuvenate the spirit in a way only adventures can.
Not Really a Big Fan of “Mother Nature” / Not an “Outdoorsy Person”
Here is where you need to make and deliver on some promises. If you have a friend that claims to not be an “outdoorsy person”, you have to ensure them the most comfortable adventure experience you can conjure up. You can fulfill this promise by bringing plenty of lights, stoking the fire, and absolutely ensuring that you have all the right gear to cater towards your soon-to-be lifetime adventure buddy.
Not Looking to Contract Rashes, Bug Bites, and Other Skin Abrasions
Sometimes it’s the little things that can really pick at your camping experience. Mosquitoes, poison ivy, and bear attacks, by packing the right gear you can avoid all of these messes (i.e. natural bug spray, poison ivy identification knowledge, & bear container). And while not everything can be controlled in the great outdoors, knowing what kind of environment and what kind of preventions can be taken will do wonders to squash any outdoor hesitancy from your friends.
Not Interested After Seeing the Movie 127 Hours
No one including Aron Ralston wants to find themselves in a dangerous situation while spending time outdoors, and most campers or outdoors oriented persons won’t ever find themselves between a rock and a hard place (ba-dum-tshh). But in all seriousness, finding yourself in an emergency situation outside can be a predicament. Do your best to be prepared, use logic when planning your trip, and if your friend is still hesitant, bust out the 30-page emergency response binder you have lying around.
Not Nice Enough Weather
An old outdoor adage goes along the lines of, “there is no such thing as bad weather, just bad planning.” And it’s true, although a night spent out in the rain or snow doesn’t sound like an ideal situation, with the right rain gear and fur-lined clothing you can be comfortable in any kind of weather. Noted, a natural disaster situation that might prove to be dangerous (i.e. thunderstorms, flooding, earthquakes, Godzilla spotting), might be one of the few valid excuses left in the book.
Not Enough Facial Hair
Sure, it does seem reasonable to have a two foot beard if you want to spend any extended time outdoors, but it’s not at all necessary. There are legions of outdoor women out there who have conquered the elements without any facial hair, and if one of your guy buddies is still hesitant, there is always the old “smear-Rogaine-all-over-your-face” trick.
Not a Big Fan of Doing Business Outside
Often times the thought of taking care of business outside brings people to tears thinking about the mess and process of popping a squat in the great outdoors. But, in case you haven’t experienced it yourself, you can assure your friends that dropping a deuce outdoors is one of the fastest ways to become one with nature and that the natural approach, compared to the 90⁰ knee angle of most porcelain potties is much better for the intestines. Be sure to point out things that won’t make your butt itch and you’ll have no problem taking care of business.
Not Looking for a Half-Night’s Sleep
Overnight camping adventures can provide the best night’s sleep you’ll find all week. Pack a warm enough sleeping bag and inflatable sleeping pad and you’re set. Camping outdoors takes away all the distractions of modern Z’s including late-night movies, munchies, and annoying roommates, leaving behind only a darkened night to catch up on that much needed beauty rest.
