Woohoo! I won a free snowboard. The problem is, I’m a skier. So now what do I do?
How You Win a Free Snowboard
Well, it helps if you drink a lot. Let me explain: I was at the Red Lion, a popular après ski bar in Vail, on the last weekend of the ski season this past April. After consuming a couple (okay, quite a few) Bud Lights, I had amassed quite a collection of raffle tickets they were handing out. This is the one time heavy drinking paid off. Okay there was that one other time when I met the wife, but that’s fodder for another column. Well, low and behold, my number was called and I became the proud owner of a RAMP snowboard.
Hey, Those Are My Skis!
I actually got screwed because there was a nice pair of skis that should have been mine. Some old guy—and I say that with respect because I’m old too, he was just older than me—won the board on the first draw. Then when this old fart went up front to receive his prize, he stated that he was a skier and wanted the skis instead. Well, to make a long story short, the old jerk got my skis and I ended up with his board.
I Could Do That
RAMP, which stands for Riders, Artists, and Musicians Project is a quality snowboard outfit based in Utah. I love the name, love their drive, and would be more than happy to ride their board if only I could. I just don’t think I should take up snowboarding at this time. You see, as I mentioned, I’m an old guy and have been skiing for years and years. I enjoy zipping anywhere on a mountain I want and don’t really want to start all over again. That and the wife won’t let me.
Be Smart About It
My daughter was a good skier, but then one day switched to the dark side and took up boarding. Now she kicks my butt on the mountain but that’s okay. I take the credit because I paid for the lessons. I’ve chided her for years about how easy snowboarding must be. I’ve always told her I could pick it up in a day if I tried. I even have a t-shirt that says “If skiing was easy, they’d call it snowboarding.” Now why, after all these years of shooting my mouth off would I want to actually try to prove my theory? You don’t get this old by being stupid.
Keep it in the Family?
I could give it away. My daughter needs a new board and Christmas shopping would be covered. The problem with that is it’s a big, long board, designed for a big long guy probably. She suggested I give it to her boyfriend. The problem with that is that I don’t like the guy. Honestly, I’ve never liked any of her boyfriends, but just like the tale of how I met my wife, that’s another whole story of its own.
Suggestions have ranged from giving it to whoever was making that stupid suggestion to selling it on Craigslist. I don’t want to just sell it for a few bucks and really don’t care to deal with strangers calling and coming over, bothering me and ruining my nap; I did mention I’m an old guy right? Others say it would make a good bench, top to a bar or other furniture ideas, but this is a good quality board and deserves to be ridden.
We Have Another Winner
And the winner is: my daughter’s ex-boyfriend. Now I did mention that I’ve never liked any of her boyfriends, and that is still true, but once they become an ex, and especially after you meet the current one, you realize he wasn’t so bad after all. He’s a bad-ass on the mountain and will do the board justice. Plus, and this is the best part, I can still brag about how I would be a bad-ass snowboarder myself, without actually making a fool of myself.