Last night was the premiere of The Martian; the sci-fi film about an astronaut (Mark Watney) who gets left behind…on Mars. To say the least, I am a bit sore; my stress levels were through the roof and my finger nails were practically falling off because I was clenching my arm rests at such an aggressive rate. Aside from the fact that it was intense from start to finish, it really had me thinking about what the heck I would do if someone left me behind on Mars. I understand that the likelihood of this actually happening is zero, but a girl can wonder can’t she? So anyway, this movie had my wheels turning, and naturally I thought about what I would do, how I would react, and what I would need to survive. I thought, if I were stranded 33.9 million miles away from home, I would for damn sure hope I had some ODT products with me. Remember, at this point I am just daydreaming, so forget the fact that they most likely wouldn’t even work out in space, because that’s beside the point.
So here is my list of the 4 things I would for sure have if I were left behind on Mars. Or anywhere for that matter.
The Kodiak Plus: I would have this on hand for quite a few reasons. The first being that this wireless power bank will charge my phone fully up to 4 times with its 10,000 mAh battery. If it were possible to text from Mars, I would be doing it. It is also waterproof and dustproof. Now we all know that Mars has some serious windstorms, and we also know that Mars now has water. Boom and boom. The Kodiak Plus was made for Mars. Lastly, it is tough. If I need a hammer, some protection against alien lifeforms, or something to eat my food on, this is it.
The Buckshot Pro: You’re probably thinking that the Buckshot Pro is also a wireless Power Bank. Yes, you are right, but that will not be the reason for it on Mars. Although it does hold a charge for up to 10 hours, I’ll be saving that for all the other things it is good for. The main reason I would want to have a Buckshot Pro with me is because it has a 3 in 1 camp light, strobe light, and flashlight. Mars can be a pretty dark place with all the storms going on, and a light will keep my mind from thinking up massive imaginary creatures lingering, waiting to eat my brains in the darkness. With that said, when it’s dark, it’s cold, and I would cross my fingers that the lights could give me some warmth too. I mean it is usually about negative 67 degrees on Mars. Lastly, it is also a speaker, but I will save the decision to blast my music for when I am actually there. I don’t want to attract any extraterrestrials.
The Orcas: The reason for these Bluetooth earbuds (aside from that they do not need a cord) is that they have fins to hook into your ears. You see, when there is no gravity, you’re going to need something you can secure to yourself. I know, this might be a little strange considering most normal humans would be in a panic if they were stranded anywhere, and would be far from wanting to sit back and relax with some tunes in their ears. But my thoughts are, I am going to be here for a while, I might as well make the best out of it and utilize the alone time. I mean come on, when will you ever get to say that you got to listen to David Bowie’s “Life on Mars”, while ON MARS… I know, there was no getting away from that one.
The Arctic Yowie: If this isn’t obvious, then do some more research. I mentioned the dust storms, the darkness, and the freakishly low temperatures, hell, I’d bring 5 Arctic Yowie’s so I could use them on my entire body. Our Arctic Yowie’s have a warm spin to the Original Yowie. It has an added 10” fleece extender that is bound to keep you way warmer than you were before. The best part about it is that it’s not going to freeze up on you. It’s breathable and you won’t have to get an icepick to get it off. The struggle is already real if I am stuck there, why make it more of one?
Well humanoids, those are my 4 ODT products that I would not be leaving at home if I made the trek to Mars. What would you bring?