Emotions are a matter of choice, YOU are in control of your feelings… at least that’s what i was telling myself on the 10:30 flight from Guangzhpu to Xiamen.
The only words to explain this flight are consistently terrifying. I’m seated next to an Asian man who must be well into his sixties, and appears to be stricken with some sort of over active salivary glands disorder. He keeps making a slurping noise and looking at me. Like he’s trying to suck a piece of beef from his 2 front teeth, but the inordinate amount of saliva is keeping him from getting enough suction to remove the thing. Or maybe more like he was sucking on something really, really sour the whole time. It wasn’t until he coughed into (inside of) my ear that I thought that I might throw up on him. I’m so angry, and this plane ride is terrifying. The turbulence is constant and heavy. The entire ride feels like we’re sliding down a steep, rocky mountain. Luckily the flight is being narrated by a woman screaming in mandarin, immediately followed by the robotic English translation. “ladies and gentlemen, we are experiencing turbulence, please take your seat and fasten your seat belts”. I know we’re experiencing turbulence, I’m pretty sure everyone knows. The salivating Asian man stares at me concerned and sucks his teeth. We finally understand each other. Caro is asleep, he’s bouncing around like the drunk hostage that got knocked out by one of the bad guys in a heist movie. All I can do is grit my teeth an pray for a decent landing. I begin feel the choice of fear vs bravery. I have the choice to be calm and up until that point i’ve been pulling it off; but I feel the tempt of fear pushing into my mind. I start loosing my cool and begin to think – Just give in, feel the fear… And here it comes, a brief wave of panic. I’m trapped, there’s nothing i can do to save myself from this situation. If the plane decides to go down I’m going with it.