Look, we all have our preferences when it comes to picking a line to shred, but let’s face it, not all skate ramps were created equal. I know, this is probably a hard realization for you, but no one ever said life was going to be easy. So to help you through these trying times, we’ve ranked which skate ramps are the best in a completely arbitrary manner.
Oh yes, the king of kings, the almighty bowl. I don’t know about you, but when I was growing up, all the cool kids at the skate parks were tearing up the bowl, and who could blame them? The sheer variety of lines that are possible in a bowl makes this the big daddy of skate parks everywhere, and lets not even get into the staggering variety of bowl shapes, which range from the classic kidney shape to designs which seemed to take inspiration of Rorschach blots. Bowls are awesome and it feels like just yesterday when they were little more than empty pools… [wipes away sentimental tear].
#2 Kicker Ramp
Here’s the kicker about kickers: they’re rad. By far the most economical way to catch some air, the humble kicker curves just enough at the top to launch you sky high. It’s basic, but fancy doesn’t always mean better—so if you want some cooler friends, I’d suggest spending some more time by the kickers.
Here’s a fun fact: the pharaohs of ancient Egypt used to grab their decks to bomb down the pyramids of Giza on festival days to celebrate a totally radical harvest. Actually, that’s totally made up, but if they weren’t using the pyramids for catching some sweet air, what was even the point of them (besides summoning aliens, obviously)?
#4 Half Pipe
Half pipes are like the perpetual motion machines of skateboarding. Once you drop in, you can continue carving up its steep walls forever, the speed you gain on your descent propelling you up the other side. Just be wary though of the danger in this: sometimes once you start, you never stop, trapped inside the half pipe for all of time. Trust me, I lost my friend Chad after he got stuck skating a half pipe for weeks without any food or water (RIP, Chad).
#5 Hip Vs Spine
So this is technically a tie between the spine and the hip. Both are great ways to break your spine and hips, but that’s not the point. The spine is created by two quarter pipes back to back. It’s great if you’re going for a long, straight run, but want to bust out a little something on your way to the finale. The advantage of a hip is the weird angle as you launch over the catty-cornered quarter pipes.
It’s a classic, sure. But honestly, quarter pipes are the worst, mostly because you expend all this energy to skate up them, only to be relegated back to flatland after your brief, but glorious time at the lip. No thanks.
#7 The Mega Ramp
“Shouldn’t this be at the top?” You ask. “After all, mega ramps are pretty sweet.”
Totally agree, but the problem is, the only people who can afford them are Bob Burnquist and Mat Hoffman, so this has been demoted due to its, uh, elitism.
“You’re just jealous you can’t skate one.”
No I, uh, well, yeah okay. I’m jealous and mega ramps are awesome.