You pay your money—probably quite a bit of your money- you anxiously await the date, and then trek to the venue only to have some shmuck ruin your evening. Here are a few warning signs if you’re about to have a bad concert experience.
The Parking Lot
Tailgating is practically an American tradition. Partying before a sporting or concert event is a great way to kick off a fun night. Starting at noon for an 8 pm concert is maybe not a good idea though. When you pull in early and the lot is already full and has been for hours, you may have quite a few wasted people to deal with. As the old saying goes: it’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt, then it’s hilarious. That is, unless it’s you or your companion who gets spilled on, puked on, or knocked down.
Judging a Book by Its Cover
What’s worse than having a 12 year old kid wearing a Star Wars t-shirt sitting next to you at a concert? Having a forty year old guy wearing a Star Wars T-shirt sitting next to you at a concert. Whoever sits next to you can ruin the night in many ways: talking to you too much, moving in on your space, or especially if he’s one of those in the parking lot since noon.
I Thought This Was a Concert, Not a Dance Recital?
When the couple in front of is dancing away, this could be a bad sign, especially if there isn’t even any music playing. It’s one thing to enjoy the show and, sure if she’s hot the dancing may be entertaining, but all night long? You paid a lot of money for that seat and it would be nice to get a glimpse of the stage once in a while.
Who Sings This Song?
We all are happy you are the Karaoke champ of Ogallala, Nebraska but do you have to sing along to every song? Most rock bands will have at least one or two songs that are sing-a-longs and the lead singer will usually prompt you when that time has come. Otherwise, I paid a lot of money to hear a professional sing his or her songs, so please let him or her do his or her job if your face is right by my ear.
Couldn’t Stand the Weather
Outdoor venues have learned a lesson from losses due to canceled shows and now have covers on their stages that will protect the artist from inclement weather. Unfortunately, in order to be an outdoor venue, the crowd has to sit outdoors. If the clouds are forming, the tornado sirens wailing, and the raindrops start falling, fear not: the show must go on. You are going to get soaked and to add insult to injury, some venues don’t allow umbrellas. Of course they don’t allow you to bring in drugs or alcohol either and that has never stopped us has it?
I once took The Wife to a Stevie Nicks/Chris Isaack concert; it was the best ever. Not that I’m a big fan of either artist but the crowd consisted of me and 7,999 women. Needless to say I spent as much time watching the crowd as I did the stage. Conversely I’ve been to Frank Zappa shows that had exactly zero women in the crowd. If you are uncomfortable being the only women there, maybe you should avoid Rush concerts. If you are uncomfortable being the only man in a crowd, stay away from Stevie Nicks and Chris Isaack shows. Besides, you’re moving in on my action.