The ancient Greeks didn’t get everything right, but they were pretty close. We can thank them for geometry, drama, some cool architecture and even cooler mythology. While these things are all fine and dandy, perhaps their greatest legacy is the idea of competing in competitions in the buff, which dates back until at least 776 BC, when the first Olympics was held.
At these games, competitors would rub their bodies down with olive oil before competing in a number of different events, such as running, chariot racing, wrestling and the javelin throw, all of which were meant to celebrate the achievements of the human body. The Olympics were held in this fashion for nearly 12 centuries until some buzzkill emperor decided the festival was a pagan cult and banned it outright.
We think it’s about time to reinstate the art of competing in your birthday suit, so here are the seven sports that seem as if they could only get better if they were played in the nude.
Okay so this is already kind of a thing, but it would’ve made the list either way because honestly, what could be better than feeling the wind in your, uh, hair while with a bunch of other naked people? This is the idea behind the World Naked Bike Ride, which occurs in cities all over the world each summer and encourages participants to strip down and pedal through town to protest our increasing dependence on oil and other non-renewable energy sources.
C’mon, I know you were thinking the same: the only thing that could improve this high octane sport is a dash of nudity. But you don’t take my word for it – try asking Italian supermodel Roberta Mancino whose affinity for jumping out of planes in the buff is no secret. Mancino has completed over 7000 dives, many of them nude, ushering in what will surely become known as the golden era of parachuting.
While skiing and snowboarding might not be the most… flattering of sports to participate in naked, this hasn’t stopped a host of people from going ahead and doing it anyway. For the most part, if hitting the slopes au naturel is your thing, you’ll probably have to be discreet about it, although some ski resorts have hosted naked ski days on the last day of the season in the past. One such example was Crested Butte in Colorado, who ran the event for years until it became so popular that they had to shut it down in the 90’s.
Surfers are pretty much sexy by definition, but when they doff their wetsuits for their birthday suits, they take it to a whole other level. Compare to the other sports on this list, surfing in the nude is pretty well established and not without reason. The grittiness of surf wax aside, letting it all hang out while you hang 10 has to be pretty liberating. If nothing else, it’s a great way to get rid of those horrible tan lines.
Yeah, that’s right: golf. There’s really no reason that golf would be particularly fun in the nude, but it would sure be a great way to liven things up for what is undoubtedly the most excruciatingly boring spectator sport in history. PGA, take note.
Actually, on second thought naked hockey seems like a terrible idea.
While there is some debate as to whether or not video games actually qualify as a sport, suffice it to say, they would be greatly improved if the gamers were pwning n00bz in the nude. This would probably be a relatively easy transition to make too, as I’m willing to bet half of online gamers are already naked, right now, at this exact moment. I can’t say I blame them.